Everyone gets burnt out sometimes! I’m just glad your back!
It *is* interesting how often that pops up in modern media: Dads who are absent because they believe that having no dad would be less destructive for their kid than if they were there. Usually the excuse is based on external factors like “The bad people would come after you to get to me”, but still. It feels like if your a good enough dad that you would think this, your a good enough dad that your wrong :thinking:
maybe he would have cleaned himself up if Janet had stuck around, but probably not. I’d say his assessment of his parenting abilities is probably astute. But maybe he’d be better at it now that he’s in his 30s
Yeah, that’s fair. I wasn’t really thinking about the Stein who made a kid, I was thinking about the one who’s currently not going in to see her now. As you allude to in a comment different from the one I’m replying to, leaving a kid with a parent who is alive but never even so much as visits isn’t super great for their developing ego either.
And when does the kid actually have a choice? if you didn’t plan them, that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve the chance to make an assessment on their own.
As always, all the details, lighting, mood etc are just terrific! glad you cam back to us!!
Uh, that one kind of goes both ways though. In a “normal” family where the father just sticks around the child *also* doesn’t have a choice. In fact, we kind of make a habit of preventing small children from making any sort of important choices, because it turns out they’re really bad at it. You know, because they’re small children. How many children have said “I wish you weren’t my parents” and for how many was that in their best interests? More than zero and less than all. “Let the kid decide” really isn’t one of the choices.
Sometimes I hear about divorced parents having their kids decide who to live with and that sounds like a seriously awful thing to do to a kid.
also Janet made the right choice Dr. Schtein would have been a bad dad. But he probably shouldn’t have abstained from her life altogether, that’s not cool either. Mother fudger can’t do nothin’ right
It’s definitely a complicated situation and doesn’t have a generalizable answer. It was a very good thing that the courts originally deprived me of the choice to go on visitation or not, but during high school I was then encouraged to act on my feelings (which at that point I’d been discussing with counselors for months) and choose a parent.
In a total void of information, continuing exposure to all involved parties is probably good. But as soon as more information becomes available… then you have to deal with the specific facts as they arise.
I won’t comment on Schtein’s case too much, at least not yet. I’ve got plenty of opinions but I’m far too familiar with how conversations about what families “should” do go to jump in from what is an admittedly limited perspective. I just wanted to gently discourage sweeping generalizations, because even the most well-intended principles tend to do more harm than good in an issue as deeply complicated as family bonds. Human society has some pretty deep-rooted beliefs on these matters, and they’re quite harmful to people actually living through these sorts of situations. I’m never *truly* going to get out from under all that.
Yeah, letting kids decide who to live with in divorce situations is pretty awful. In some cases you end up with either parent twisting information to get you to choose them over the other and it gets messy. The children end up being tricked into disliking someone who may not have done anything to deserve the animosity.
Anyways, I’m glad to see you’re back with an update~ Being burnt out is a fine enough excuse for being away. Life, relaxing, recharging your batteries, etc., it happens. All that matters is you’re doing well, right?
No, I didn’t mean a choice so much as a chance to meet and assess Schtein and decide if she wanted to know more about him. I fully realize that even as a adults we don’t always know what’s best for us, and kids have less data to make decisions from.
Hmm, I wonder if oppressive triple-digit (F) temperatures could have had anything to do with that burnout. Certainly not in my case nope nope nope. (fwiw, it only *felt* like 100C)
Honestly considering how his life turned out and all, I think that’s currently the right choice, but it’s clear the kid isn’t exactly in a happy situation…. life is complicated sometimes.
Everyone gets burnt out sometimes! I’m just glad your back!
It *is* interesting how often that pops up in modern media: Dads who are absent because they believe that having no dad would be less destructive for their kid than if they were there. Usually the excuse is based on external factors like “The bad people would come after you to get to me”, but still. It feels like if your a good enough dad that you would think this, your a good enough dad that your wrong :thinking:
maybe he would have cleaned himself up if Janet had stuck around, but probably not. I’d say his assessment of his parenting abilities is probably astute. But maybe he’d be better at it now that he’s in his 30s
Yeah, that’s fair. I wasn’t really thinking about the Stein who made a kid, I was thinking about the one who’s currently not going in to see her now. As you allude to in a comment different from the one I’m replying to, leaving a kid with a parent who is alive but never even so much as visits isn’t super great for their developing ego either.
And when does the kid actually have a choice? if you didn’t plan them, that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve the chance to make an assessment on their own.
As always, all the details, lighting, mood etc are just terrific! glad you cam back to us!!
I always come back eventually.
Uh, that one kind of goes both ways though. In a “normal” family where the father just sticks around the child *also* doesn’t have a choice. In fact, we kind of make a habit of preventing small children from making any sort of important choices, because it turns out they’re really bad at it. You know, because they’re small children. How many children have said “I wish you weren’t my parents” and for how many was that in their best interests? More than zero and less than all. “Let the kid decide” really isn’t one of the choices.
Sometimes I hear about divorced parents having their kids decide who to live with and that sounds like a seriously awful thing to do to a kid.
also Janet made the right choice Dr. Schtein would have been a bad dad. But he probably shouldn’t have abstained from her life altogether, that’s not cool either. Mother fudger can’t do nothin’ right
It’s definitely a complicated situation and doesn’t have a generalizable answer. It was a very good thing that the courts originally deprived me of the choice to go on visitation or not, but during high school I was then encouraged to act on my feelings (which at that point I’d been discussing with counselors for months) and choose a parent.
In a total void of information, continuing exposure to all involved parties is probably good. But as soon as more information becomes available… then you have to deal with the specific facts as they arise.
I won’t comment on Schtein’s case too much, at least not yet. I’ve got plenty of opinions but I’m far too familiar with how conversations about what families “should” do go to jump in from what is an admittedly limited perspective. I just wanted to gently discourage sweeping generalizations, because even the most well-intended principles tend to do more harm than good in an issue as deeply complicated as family bonds. Human society has some pretty deep-rooted beliefs on these matters, and they’re quite harmful to people actually living through these sorts of situations. I’m never *truly* going to get out from under all that.
I’m glad you were able to get through all that.
Yeah, letting kids decide who to live with in divorce situations is pretty awful. In some cases you end up with either parent twisting information to get you to choose them over the other and it gets messy. The children end up being tricked into disliking someone who may not have done anything to deserve the animosity.
Anyways, I’m glad to see you’re back with an update~ Being burnt out is a fine enough excuse for being away. Life, relaxing, recharging your batteries, etc., it happens. All that matters is you’re doing well, right?
yeah that’s what i figure, plus kids cant really give consent to big life stuff like that. not enough life experience.
i wish i didnt get burnt out sometimes! I’d like to finish this comic before I’m 50
I’m betting he could be a slightly better dad now that he knows his didn’t abandon him.
No, I didn’t mean a choice so much as a chance to meet and assess Schtein and decide if she wanted to know more about him. I fully realize that even as a adults we don’t always know what’s best for us, and kids have less data to make decisions from.
Hmm, I wonder if oppressive triple-digit (F) temperatures could have had anything to do with that burnout. Certainly not in my case nope nope nope. (fwiw, it only *felt* like 100C)
Honestly considering how his life turned out and all, I think that’s currently the right choice, but it’s clear the kid isn’t exactly in a happy situation…. life is complicated sometimes.