Page Fortythree
Cripes this is so late, but I’ve been feeling pretty under the weather the past few days.
So yeah, black and white now, color later. Sorry for makin’ you wait an extra day for this dumb joke. >:T
Well, at least I can gaurantee that it’s the last prison sex joke in the entirety of the comic. Hahah. Had to get it out of my system I guess.
I want to make Schtein’s “eegh” face into an icon.
The great thing about your lines is that they look perfectly fine all by themselves. You could easily get by with a black and white comic if you wanted to (of course I love your colors still).
I laughed so hard. His face is priceless. XD
It is a silly joke but I still laughed at it.
Sickness happens. Don’t worry about it and just concentrate on getting better. (As if concentrating helps. Pff. But sleeping and not stressing helps me, so….) :)
Awww, being sick sucks! I hope you recover soon! Thank you for putting up the uncolored page– it’s MUCH better than nothing, and reminds me of the good ol’ days when Chapter 1 was in B&W and it looked fantastic!
When you do colorize, try to make it so they eyes read the last four panels right to left on the top, then right to left on the bottom… I automatically tried to read the top and bottom left, then the top and bottom right.
But if the background behind the panels unifies the top two and separates them from the bottom two, it should lead the eye better.
Did I make mistakes and say the panel order wrong? Yes, I did. But you get the idea… make sure the coloring behind the panels leads the eye in the right direction for the last four.
Wait – did I miss the part where critique was requested?
Well, I used to have a statement on the sidebar that I was doing this comic as a learning experience. Which is like an implicit request for criticism.
I really don’t mind, it’s nice to get feedback good or bad, you know? It helps me grow and learn, which is what I want.
Although I won’t be making any further edits to this page (sick of working on it!) continued thoughts are still helpful to keep in mind for future pages.
Aww, you don’t neeeeed to get rid of the PSJs. P:
Ugh, sickness sucks. Hope you feel better soon.
The comic, however, is made of awesome. Especially the third panel. :D
That first panel is incredible!! It must have taken hours to draw. And of course, classy prison humour is always funny.
I think it only took me an hour or two. Eventually I’ll have done enough scenery and establishing shots that I can just have the entirety of the rest of this chapter floating in white space while everyone uses their imaginations to fill in the blanks. Oh my. And then I can make a page a day!
This page made me chortle. But dang, once again your lineart is DELICIOUS. Can’t wait to see it colors 8)
though uh.. vanishing glasses in the last panel. Unless they were WTF’D off his face.
yeah he took them off in the second to last panel. I probably could have made that more clear. Thank you!
oh PPBTPBTPBB- nevermind, then XD That’s just me being ignorant and somehow.. skipping an entire panel… Excuse me while I try and figure out how I managed to do that.
‘Direct me to your nearest atm sir’ is the best line ever.
I hope you get well soon
I love the page, but particularity the last panel with Herville. Love the cringe :3
Oh, Schtein, always accusing people for being gay… Hey, I like your prison sex jokes!
Oh, and get better soon!
But I like prison sex jokes D: How can you have a prison story/chapter without sex/soap jokes every ten pages or so?
Agreeing with previous posts about the order of the last panels. The spacing makes it unclear, and I’m still not 100% sure that I am reading them correctly now.
And I agree about the glasses thing, I think maybe you should include his hand holding them. It’s not really clear that he took them off.
The coloring should help in that regard, and I’ll probably redraw the ‘OH’ panel since I don’t like it at all.
Keep the bad jokes, it’s so in character. XD
It was worth it for the look on Schtein’s face.
EPIC.
EXPRESSION.
Ha! So I was right! JayJay’s hair is different from the last time I saw it in the comic! (Obessive fan moment) I was going through the chapter two archives and noticing the oodles of speech bubbles in this thang! That prison bed felt like an eternity to me, and yet it was only eight pages!
He must have started combing it forward since we saw him last. It’s been a few days.
The hospital bed, you mean? Yeah that probably could have been a bit shorter. It’s good practice, though, and now I know to keep scenes around maybe four pages max unless something is actually happening. I hate having to keep in mind that I only publish once a week, I’m more interested in what the comic will look like in the long run, but I also don’t want it to be boring. It’s a tough balance. :)
Also I’ve been paying much more attention, lately, to trying to get as much info out in as few words as possible. I write too much dialogue, I know. It’s a hard habit to get out of. :D
Take your time on the colors! :) Your line work is terrific as always. Hope you are recovering from not feeling well.
PS. Love Schtein’s expression on the sex joke… poor guy! Always expecting the worst… or expecting that everyone wants to get sexual with him. aah!
Ah, see, that’s why I regret making two of those jokes within the last couple of pages. Dr. Schtein is sort of a mind in the gutter man, but I don’t want to make him look obsessed with it. I think he is scared he’s gonna get prison-raped, as anyone newly in prison would be, but he shouldn’t be voicing it so much.
Yeah, of course. Scared is more natural! I understand why you are regretting it, but I think it fits, really. Well, because I think he is more of the “expecting the worst” – paranoid/scared type – as that’s how he has appeared to be in other aspects (ie, the gloves). :) Like he feels no one really can’t be trusted in any kind of way.
aw man, that is hillarious!!! i lol-ed just now!! i haven’t been able to check this out since there was something wrong with the internet, so everything’s great!
oh, god.
Jayjay just became my favorite character.
Among his expressions, I seem to quite fancy his nose.
I like the shape a lot. :I
That Dr. Schtein. He’s always got his head in the gutter!
Oh my I love his face. Looooove it.
So do you add in gloves when you color it?
naw, he took them off. He’s all ready for bed time, he doesn’t wear them while he sleeps.
I changed the composition of the third panel at some point, but before you could see them under his pillow. I wish I’d left that in, but I’ll work it into the next page or something.
damn, this looks so good coloured!
I love that sunset lighting, especially in the first panel
The new panel works much better, and the colouring is great. It feels completely different from the lines, but I like them both just the same. Your colouring is getting much better, too!
The last four panels didn’t flow too well for me. I feel like the “oh” panel doesn’t need to be there. I didn’t read them L to R at first, I read them top to bottom.
Same here, although it could easily be fixed by moving the left-right panels closer together. Paneling magic!
I’m not sure what you mean, like, less vertical gutter space?
Yep! Because the horizontal gutter space is currently smaller, it makes the panel flow go up-down as opposed to left-right.
oh, you’re right it is. Just barely. Hahah, I actually meant to make them the same size, but I don’t use a ruler, so that’s sort of hard to do. Actually, what someone else suggested, is that I ought to have made the vertical gutters not align. And I very much agree with that. I’m not a fan of uneven-width gutters in comics in general, but that’s just personal preference. I also don’t like panels overlapping and being wacky shapes that leave huge amounts of white space, but again. Personal preference.
Yeah, I noticed that when I reviewed the paneling, so I wasn’t sure how the suggestion would be taken. I tell ya what, though, that’s a far better idea.
I’m kinda curious, what do you use for the paneling? Just the program you normally work on?
Ooh, the new glowy first panel is GORE-JAWZ!! I kinda miss the clarity of the teeny face in panel 2.
Aww, the last prison sex joke? D: I liked Schtein’s homophobic overreactions, though, asdfkljsfda. Anyway I like this page, and I’m curious to see Schtein defending himself with that weapon his friend so charitably gave him. :>
Oh wow! Good job directing the eye with your coloring of the last four panels! The light/dark angles in the top to connect them to each other, and the bottom two are tied together by the yellow light. Masterful solution!
Didn’t anyone tell Jacob not to make bets he can’t cover? And not to blame other people for his bad decisions?